All the secrets in the world
by nargles and fairie lights
Summary: This world has a ton of secrets. Good or bad. Lily Luna Potter has a lot of them, mainly involving getting jealous of her cousins. But her biggest one might have to deal with Scorpius Malfoy. Rated T
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**Warning: RATED T, For a reason that there will be cutting in this story and some suicide attempts. I'm sorry if you don't want to read a fanfic like this. But I just had to do it **

**AN: This would be my take on a Scorily fanfiction. I had a plot that was formed while I was listening to the ever boring lectures of my Home ec teacher. But of course I know the lesson so I focused on this fanfic which happens to be "perfectly" formed in my brain. And everyone commended the draft that was written at the back of my unused computer notebook. Anyways wouldn't want to get this Author's note too long so bye. :* **

* * *

**Tell me what you want to hear  
Something that'll light those years  
Sick of all the insincere  
So I'm gonna give  
all my secrets away **

**~OneRepublic**

* * *

**Chapter 1: The cut**

* * *

Lily Luna Potter was sitting by the corner of her bedroom, door locked and curtains are closed. It was broad daylight and she's crying.

She was being scolded a while ago for having to be friends with Scorpius Malfoy. She knew the feud between her family and his in the earlier years. But she knew Draco raised Scorpius the way he wanted his son to be, good, gentleman and so much better than he is back when he was at Hogwarts.

But still, everyone found it weird for Draco Malfoy to have a son who's the complete opposite of him.

She sobbed endlessly before taking a knife from the drawer of the nightstand. She kept it in there for self-defense even though she has a wand. But she never really thought of having the self-defense weapon into hurting herself.

The sharp blade of the knife gleamed as it faced the space between the two curtains. Lily touched the blade with her fingertip, it was sharp enough to make a cut. She took a deep breath before scraping the knife onto her thigh.

Blood poured down of the cut and she covered it with her own hand. She couldn't risk her mother or her father finding out that she cut herself. Being suicidal is number one thing that you shouldn't be if you're a child or nephew or niece of Harry Potter. He died for wizardkind and certainly dying for the sake of escaping from your problems isn't the most ideal thing to do.

"If uncle Percy saw this I'm sure he'd be ranting about how much I am of a disgrace to my family name" Lily whispered before looking at her bloodstained palm "How mighty stupid of me" she rolled her eyes before immobilizing the wound to stop the blood from flowing. Then she covered it with thick rolls of bandages.

She wiped the tears away from her face and she hurried downstairs to find Al, her brother. Talking to his girlfriend Nina Terrence. Also Victoire is sitting on one of the couches, lotus style. Watching some muggle television show.

"Hey there Lily!" Nina greeted before running over to her to kiss her cheeks. Nina had been Lily's best friend and she didn't even know that her bestfriend would be the one to date her brother.

"Hi Nina" Lily smiled before limping over to Victoire. She needed a cure for her wound immediately.

"Victoire, I need your help now" Lily was panicking, she knew at any minute now her immobilizing charm would wear off any minute now. Lily could feel that she was almost magically drained, that's why the spell was weak.

"What is it? and why is it that I smell blood?" Victoire asked, Lily forgot it was the full moon tonight. Victoire's dog senses must be on the "on" switch

"I have to talk to you, now" said Lily frantically

Victoire shot her a look of disbelief before rolling her eyes "Alright now what is it?" she asked impatiently.

"Victoire you're already an auror and you also have a background in healing tell me what to do on how to mend a cut if its made by a muggle knife" Lily asked, shuffling in her place as she dragged Victoire into their front yard

Victoire's eyes widened in fear "You-you didn't just cut yourself right? Please tell me I'm wrong!" Victoire frantically said before turning Lily around to see if she's made any cuts

Lily bit her lip in frustration _I shouldn't have... _she thought to herself. _I guess I should've just starved myself... no lost in that _She thought again. She shook her head out of her thoughts and began onto thinking of any excuses "I-I didn't cut myself, its Rachelle Finnegan. She cut herself because her boyfriend broke up with her"

"Lysander couldn't break up with Rachelle. I've heard they're actually planning for an engagement. Lily, you're lying" Victoire eyed her suspiciously, thinking Lily wouldn't spill. She used Legilimency on her younger cousin

"WHAT MADE YOU DO THAT?!" asked Victoire

"I'm sorry, its just that I felt like I wasn't anyone's first choice. And everyone's against my friendship with Scorpius! But when they found out that he's dating Dominique none of them complained! Why does everyone have to be against me? All I wanted was to be just like you and Teddy" Lily sobbed, she didn't care if she was breaking down in front of Victoire Weasley. All she cared about was getting everything into its right place for her.

"Lily?" Albus came out from the house and immediately knelt down to his crying sister. "Albus, I can handle this. Take Nina out for a walk, I'll talk Lily out of this" Victoire said before pushing Albus gently back inside the house. "Lily, what made you do this? you could have just told me" Victoire said sympathetically

"I just can't, Dominique's your sister and I'm sure you were happy for them and everything" Lily sobbed, she felt the immobilizing charm weakening "Victoire, the immobilizing charm is wearing off" She whispered, Victoire transfigured Lily's jeans into shorts.

The immobilizing charm has wore off, the blood was pouring out of the wound endlessly. The would is too deep to begin with. Victoire muttered a simple spell and the wound closed. "It still has the chance of reopening if you conducted too much motion. I suggest you have to go on a bed rest for at least two weeks, it would cause pain I'm telling you. And please, if you're problematic you can always tell me" Victoire sighed after fixing Lily's wound.

"I wouldn't don't worry" Lily replied before limping upstairs

* * *

_Dear Scorpius, _

_ Sorry I had to tell this to you, but there's just no one  
__who could listen. I miss you so much Scorp, I really do  
sorry I got you in trouble by just being friends with you.  
How are you and Dominique? I hope the both of you are  
doing well. Sorry for bothering you again with this letter  
I just miss you so much, too much to even handle.  
Scorpius, I really need to talk to you. I feel like  
everything's falling apart and there's no one to hear me  
out. I cut my thighs a while ago. I'm sorry you have to  
read this, but yes. I feel like everyone just thinks I'm  
not existing in this world. You're the only person who  
can understand me. Please write back. I love you. _

_Love From,  
Lily _

Lily put down the quill and tied the letter to the leg of her owl, Katherine. She curled up in her bed, sobbing silently while hoping for an answer. She was hoping that maybe Scorpius would find time onto replying to her letter, even if he's too busy with Dominique.

She didn't even bothered to re-read the letter and proofread it, she didn't bothered correcting anything. Even if the last line says 'I love you' she didn't erased it. Scorpius knows Lily meant it as a friend, but Scorpius meant more than a friend to Lily. She's in love with Scorpius Malfoy.

And its her biggest secret


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I do I must be British. But I'm a Filipina so nah. **

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**Heart still beating but it's not working  
It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring  
I reach out trying to love but I feel nothing  
Yeah, my heart is numb**

**But with you**  
**I feel again**  
**Yeah with you**  
**I can feel again**

**~OneRepublic**

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**Chapter 2: Feel again **

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_Dear Lils, _

_ Sorry my reply is so late, I find myself busy  
with other things and so as with Dominique.  
Don't worry Lily, I'll always be here to listen to  
everything you have to breathe out. Remember  
what I said? I'll always find time for you Lily.  
I'm your best friend, I can never leave you in  
the air alone like that. Even if our fathers didn't  
approved of our friendship, I'll always love you  
Lils, as a friend of course. Okay, mind telling me  
why did you cut your thighs? That isn't a proper  
way to treat yourself Lils, you know that is self  
harm right? and self-harm is sinful. Lily you  
should love yourself alright? do not do those  
it pains me. _

_Love,  
Scorpius_

_P.S if you want to visit, I'll be at Malfoy Manor  
today and tomorrow. _

Lily sighed before putting the letter down, its been three days since she wrote to Scorpius. Normally Scorpius wouldn't write to her three days after, at some points he even try to reply as quick as he can that after an hour or so, Lily was able to get her reply. But since Dominique came, everything changed between them. Scorpius would always go on dates with Dominique, sometimes even breaking a tad lot of promises he made to Lily.

But she remained the faithful friend she always was.

_Yeah, he was busy because Dominique moved in with him... no point in trying not to tell me. Victoire's one of my closest cousins. _Lily mumbled before going downstairs

"Good morning Lily" her brother, Albus. Greeted her as he drank his coffee

"Good morning Al. Has Victoire left?" Lily asked, Victoire was staying over at the Potters for a week. The Potters didn't mind anyways, after all its Victoire's week off auror duties and she needs a place to stay without her mother and father always asking her about work.

"Nah, she still fast asleep on the couch. Look at her, snoring like James she is" Albus pointed to Victoire who's sleeping soundly in the couch. And Lily could have sworn that one more move she'd already be falling off the couch.

"Any news from James?" Lily asked, Albus handed her a letter with James' handwriting on the envelope "Thank goodness he's wrote to us, he's been in America for a month working for the Ministry" Lily pouted, being the youngest one of the Potter siblings. She's always left out, Albus is in auror training and she's in her last year at Hogwarts.

Victoire yawned before falling off the couch "Ugh, Good morning" she mumbled, before walking off to the bathroom. "Well, she's twenty-six and she still acts like she's eighteen... works for her" Albus said before laughing.

"Amazing how she's twenty-six and yet people mistaken her for being eighteen years old, how does she do that?" Lily asked, sitting beside her brother. Its the summer holidays and she's got at least seven weeks before she starts back at Hogwarts.

"I don't know how she does it too" Albus replied before propping both his feet onto the kitchen counter.

"Where's mom and dad?" Lily asked, looking for signs of Harry or Ginny around the house

"Eh, they both had to come early to work. Dad says there's a lot of paperwork waiting for him in the auror office. And mum had to go to the Puddlemere United's training camp to see their training" Albus replied, Lily nodded before going in front of the TV to watch a muggle television, the Vampire Diaries.

Albus propped down on the couch next to her, he also had his week off auror trainings since the auror he's supposed to be shadowing is Victoire, and since she's on a week off. He also is.

"Amazing how they still put some reruns of that in the televisions" he said, watching the show his sister is in love with

"Well Stefan Salvatore's hot, such a shame he's twenty-five years older than me" said Lily, who's deeply focused in the TV show.

"Lils"  
"Yes Al?"  
"Why did you let people just tell you not to be friends with Scorpius?" he looked at Lily hoping for a straight answer. He's in good terms with Scorpius Malfoy, the two of them talking whenever they could when in auror training

Lily's focus on the television screen was replaced by shock upon her brother's question "They wouldn't take "No" for an answer right? So what do you think I should do in order to get them to shut up?" Lily answered.

"I'm not against your friendship with Scorpius" Albus replied, then Victoire walked out of the bathroom dressed in her sweatpants and tank top

"Albus, schedule's back on Monday. We have only three days, next time I'll get a month off I'm telling you" Victoire muttered before sitting next to Lily on the couch

"Why did you choose the schedule that has you working everyday? you could still apply for a flexible one like Teddy did?" Albus asked looking curiously at Victoire

"And work overtime? no. I hate doing the paperwork too" she replied before walking to the kitchen to get herself a cup of coffee and returning to watch the vampire diaries as well "How hot is Paul Wesley? Just a shame he's sixteen years older than me though" Victoire pouted before giving Lily a hi-5

Albus shook his head before saying "The both of you were brainwashed by that show I'm telling you" he clicked his tongue with his teeth before he earned a hit by a pillow from Victoire

"We are so not brainwashed!" she yelled

"Yes you are

"NO"

"YES"

"NO"

"YES"

"NO

"YES"

"NOO!"

"Hey there Vic- oh" Teddy said as he walked into the house, seeing the yelling between Victoire and Albus "Mind telling me what's happening here Lily?" he asked his older cousin

"Albus been pointing out that both me and Victoire were brainwashed by the show. Then Victoire hit him with a pillow and Albus started an argument and then this happened" Lily said, not taking her gaze away from the television "Something tells me you should never leave your fiancee in this house" Lily added

"Yeah, I agree with you" said Teddy who's looking shocked at the sight of Victoire hitting Albus repeatedly with a pillow as she chased him around the house "And its quite amazing how she's twenty-six and still look like seventeen, wait not just looks like it she acts like it" Teddy stared at Victoire

Lily smiled with the way her almost old-brother looked at his wife-to-be "I've always rooted for the both of you" she smiled before

"Victoire, she's one-of-a-kind. She made me feel again when I was numb" said Teddy, Lily looked at her well cousin-ish before smiling to herself. _they sure are in love, no wonder they never broke apart when Molly fell in love with Teddy _she thought to herself

"And I'm sure that's what you felt with Scorpius" Teddy told her, her eyes widened in shock before she waved her hand in front of Teddy's face "That is so not possible Teddy!"

"Suuure" Teddy smirked before standing up to pull Victoire away from Albus, she's wrestling him down on the ground. The poor nineteen year old boy must be struggling to get his cousin off him.

Sometimes, having an auror for a cousin isn't the greatest news. Take Victoire for example, she's learned so much from her four years of auror training that she completed five years ago that she's specialized in hand to hand combat. And look where it got Albus

Lily couldn't help but laugh in the position that her brother got himself in "Albus, never mess with a twenty-six year old auror slash fangirl" Lily laughed

"I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON VICTOIRE!" Albus yelled, Victoire looked at him mercily before releasing him.

"Next time, keep it in a leash!" Albus told Teddy as he dusted himself off

Victoire looked at him before rolling her eyes "I'm a girl, not a dog"

These moments reminded Lily of the times she's with Scorpius in Malfoy Manor. His parents were quite fond of her, they never judged her just because she's a Potter.

Lily misses Scorpius Malfoy, alot. and the pain that it causes makes it even more unbearable than it already is.

She sighed before turning off the television "I'm going to a friend's" she said almost quietly before running upstairs

"I know you're going to Malfoy Manor Lily" Albus smirked as he leaned against the wall by the bottom of the stairs

Lily shot him a glare before proceeding to go up the stairs

"DON'T TELL ANYONE ALBUS!" she shouted, and with a crack, she apparated right outside the gates of the Malfoy Manor.

She took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell, she wouldn't be surprised if Dominique's here. In fact, she was kind of expecting Dominique to be here, since her visit is unexpected.

Not long before Astoria Greengrass came walking near the gates only to look quite shocked to see Lily outside

"Lily! its so nice to see you here. How have you been? you're not visiting as usual, did something happen? Come in Come in!" Astoria fussed before opening the gate wide enough for Lily to come in

"Nah, things were fine. I just got a little bit busy though" she lied, she didn't want to bring up the topic of her family not agreeing in her friendship with a certain Malfoy.

"Oh, if that's so. Anyways, nice of you to come back after a little while" Astoria smiled before escorting Lily inside the house. "Draco look who's come to visit" she said cheerily as they entered.

"Hello Lily" he smiled slightly before going back to reading his newspaper

"Uhm, I was kind of wondering where Scorpius is. I've wanted to talk to him for ages, but he seemed a little bit too busy. And he might've mentioned that he'll be here in Malfoy Manor" Lily looked up by the stairs to see any sign of Scorpius, but he seemed a little invisible.

Astoria looked down at her feet "Oh, he's gone with Dominique. I believe taking her out on a date, Sorry Lily. You can wait for him though" she smiled again, it was as if the smiles never faded away from Astoria. She was happy, quite the opposite of what Lily is at the moment.

Upon hearing Astoria's reply, the smile on Lily's face dropped. "O-Oh, yeah I-I'll come back i-if I could find another time to visit. Anyways Victoire and Teddy needs help on moving their things to the new apartment they bought. Thanks for letting me come anyways" She forced a smile on her face before apparating back to Godric's Hollow.

"So how'd it go?" asked Albus, who's down by the couch.

"Pretty bad seeing as Scorpius isn't there. Apparently he took Dom out on a date" Lily shrugged "Now I've got nothing to do"

Albus chuckled before throwing her a muggle novel "Read it, mind you it really does take your mind off things" he smiled, Lily caught the book and read the cover saying: _'The Last Song_'

"If this book made me cry, all blames go on you 'mkay?" she blew her tongue out at her brother before running up her room.

The book had been consuming Lily in every way, it's only three hours since she read the book and was halfway onto finishing it. On every event that Lily had read, it felt like its her life in Ronnie's. She made a mental note to thank Albus for the book.

She put down the book and checked the time. It was four thirty in the afternoon, she got up from her bed and stetched herself before going downstairs.

"Good Afternoon" she chirped, only to see James and Albus talking like they never had before.

"James!" she cried before running to give her brother a tight hug "I've missed you so much! why were you gone for too long?! You told us you wouldn't be back until next week!" Lily pouted

"Well, I may have lied. Just to surprise the both of you" James winked before putting his arm around Lily's shoulder

"Albus gave me a book called the last song by an author named Nicholas Sparks, and its amazing. THANK YOU ALBUS!" Lily exclaimed

"Good for you" James smirked before going to the kitchen

"I was reading the whole time and I never even knew James was here" Lily told her brother Albus "You could have told me!" she added, punching her brother playfully on the arm

"Life is full of surprises Lils" Albus winked

* * *

**Suckish, I know... anyways this could have been updated a little bit earlier only if I wasn't distracted by the youtube videos I was watching :\ well that happens. So yeah bye! heartheart**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter **

* * *

**You're sorry like an angel,  
heaven let me think it was you,  
but I'm afraid.  
Its too late to apologize **

**~OneRepublic**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Apologizing wouldn't change what you did**

* * *

Upon arriving home, Scorpius was greeted by his mother cheerily; giving him a kiss on both cheeks. "Scorpius! How'd your date go with Dom?" she asked, looking for any sign of Dominique "Where is she?" Astoria asked again.

"She went to Shell Cottage, wanted to visit her parents for a little while" Scorpius shrugged

"Oh, anyways just want to let you know that Lily's visited a couple of hours ago. She was looking for you, said you told her to come, or its that what I thought?" said Astoria, eyeing her son suspiciously

"She went here?" Scorpius swallowed thickly, he completely forgot about Lily, he was a little bit too busy with Dominique that he forgot his own best friend

"Oh yes son, she did. Although she looked like she's been pretty tired" Astoria shrugged, Scorpius looked at his watch reading 7:45 on the time, he didn't even hesitate. He had to apologize to Lily.

"Mom, I-I have to go to the Potters. I have to apologize to Lily" he said before kissing his mother's cheek.

Scorpius always hated apparating, it was like going to another place by using an invisible tube. But he'd do anything just to get his friend's trust back.

As soon as he landed upon the Potters' front yard, he reluctantly knocked on the front door, almost furiously. But he toned it down, knowing it might disturb whatever the family was doing.

Not long enough before the door was answered by Victoire "Oh, Scorpius! Nice to see you, what did you come here for?" she asked nicely, he was in friendly terms with Victoire seeing as he's dating her sister.

"I need to talk to Lily" he peered through Victoire's shoulders to look for any sign of Lily. Unfortunately, he didn't see as much as his eyes allowed him to before Victoire raised her brow at him

"Alright" she said before practically shoving him inside the house, it was meant to be a joke. But he wasn't one to take jokes when he knew that his best friend could be mad at him at the moment.

He looked inside the kitchen for Lily, but he didn't find her. He was rather unwelcome to go to the second floor, so he seeked for Albus.

"Hey Albus! Where's your sister?" he asked uneasily

"She's up her room, talking to a friend over the phone... I think" Albus replied

"Thanks" Scorpius ran to the second floor of the house and found a door open in the middle of the hall, a familiar voice coming from inside.

"I'd never thought he would replace his best friend like that, we've been practically friends ever since we started Hogwarts. Why does he have to replace me like that? With my own cousin!" Lily's sobs echoed through the hallway... Scorpius couldn't have been more guilty than ever before.

"Sorry to bother you with this Lorcan, I really am" _So Lily was talking to Lorcan _he thought to himself.

Everyone knew Lorcan Scamander, The guy who was always helpful to everyone even to strangers. The guy who treated everyone as his friend.

Scorpius felt a pang of pain on his chest, right where his heart is. He'd never have thought that Lily would favor Lorcan over him.

_Stop it Scorpius, stop being a wimp and apologize to her _he said to himself

He walked slowly to the room, and as soon as he entered. The look on Lily's face was unbearable, her eyes red and puffy, her red hair isn't even combed. And eventually, Scorpius blamed himself for it.

"Lily" he sat next to her on the bed, but Lily didn't responded.

"Lorcan, I'm sorry I have to go. Someone's here" Lily said, in a rather fragile tone. Her voice is breaking, and its clear enough for Scorpius that it was his fault why Lily's crying. "Why are you here?"

"I-I'm here to aplogize Lils, I didn't mean to forget you. I-I'm so sorry" Scorpius told her, but Lily was sure she had been hurt enough not to let it slip this time.

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it right after. Her thoughts were all in a war in her head, it felt like her mind is telling her not to forgive him. But her heart is screaming the opposite.

"Its too late Scorpius" she whispered. Inching away from him. She felt uncomfortable sitting beside him, something makes her want to hug him and scream 'its okay' but she just can't. She's afraid that she would get hurt again.

"Lily, please I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to what Scorpius?! Forget about me?! Oh I'M USED TO IT! You always forget about me since Dominique, by perfect of a veela cousin came! Bet if I was a veela you'd have me right?! But well guess what?! I'm not! so yeah just get your face away from here before my palms make a landing to your cheek!" She yelled, Her loud voice caused Victoire and James to run upstairs and take a look on what's happening.

"Lils, I'm so sorry please forgive me" he touched both her shoulders but she flinched away, and eventually he got a slap from Lily.

"JUST GO!" Lily demanded, Scorpius would have said another word but Victoire and James had to drag him downstairs before Lily could any more hurt someone.

Lily had never been miserable like this before in her life. Her stomach had been twisting inside her, she felt guilty for slapping Scorpius. But felt too weak to apologize, she needed more help than she had.

She looked at the cut on her thigh, she's quite afraid it would open again due to all the motion she's been conducting.

But that cut was nothing compared to the huge hole made upon her heart. She yelled at Scorpius, at the boy she loved. And she couldn't do anything about it anymore, seeing as she blew it all away.

"Lily" Victoire's voice was heard from behind "Lily, It'll be fine. He's hurt you enough, you did the right thing Lily. It'll all get better in time, I promise" Victoire reassured her, but the tears didn't stopped themselves from falling.

"I should've just forgiven him Victoire. I can't stay mad at him" Lily sobbed onto her pillow

"You're just not ready to forgive him yet Lily, but once you're ready you will. Your term in Hogwarts starts in three weeks. And its your seventh year, treasure it. Once you've had your last year of Hogwarts you'll be ready to let go and move on" Victoire smiled

Lily looked at Victoire, her eyes still full of tears. "And how come you're so sure of that?"

"Because it happened to me once with Teddy" Victoire laughed slightly before proceeding "Well back in sixth year at summer, I was in a fight with one of Teddy's friend. And he wasn't even taking sides but I misunderstood him and everything went haywire. He sort of shouted at me and I was hurt as that, when he apologized I didn't accepted it.

"It was his first year of auror training though and it's my sixth year at Hogwarts. Then a year passed and the summer began all over again, and I forgot what I was mad at him about" Victoire shrugged

Lily felt like it really is the best thing to do, enjoy her last year. And maybe, just maybe it will all go away.

"Thanks Victoire" Lily smiled

"You're Welcome, anyways wouldn't you want to eat dinner?" Victoire asked

"Nah, just ate a lot a while ago. I'm sleep deprived so I'm taking sleep in" she smiled halfheartedly

"Alright, goodnight Lily" Victoire mused before strutting out of the room

"I hope she's right" Lily whispered to herself before turning the lamp off and closing her eyes.

* * *

**Yeah, ugh I just finished this all in one night and I have school tomorrow. Which tells me, I'm supposed to get ready for exams and yet I procrastinate using . DO NOT JUDGE ME! I escape from reviewing lessons but still I end up getting an A or a B+ in the examination results day. Don't get me wrong I love studying as well. But I love writing more, so yeah bye seeya next chapter. Thank you for your suggestions though! heartheart**

**P.S: there is no significant reason that I put on those songs up there, but its just when I listen to music more and more ideas come to my mind that encourages me to write more, so please if you find those songs distracting skip that part. **


End file.
